Loneliness Kills

It is a well-known fact that loneliness kills. However, the mechanisms of that heightened mortality risk seem to be lesser known by the public. The research behind what happens in the lives of elderly individuals who are left in isolation paints a grim picture of what I consider to be neglect. A reality that I have witnessed firsthand.

This article began to take shape in my mind during a funeral service that I attended a few years ago. I listened to the whispers that crept across the pews about how much the newly deceased was going to be missed, whispers of regret for not visiting them more often, and the shock when people realized just how isolated they were before they passed away. I always see funerals as a fascinating play, where certain characters flash across a stage sharing stories of the past. These characters are marionetted by a range of emotions that don’t quite match up with the reality of the deceased’s final years. “We loved them more than anything, they were the world to us.” Then why didn’t you visit them? “They were always there for us and sat with us when we were sick.” Yet you couldn’t bother to bring them soup or sit with them when they were sick? 

I’m going to break a harsh reality to you. Visiting your older family members on the holidays isn’t enough. I can’t tell you how many people in my life try to clear their conscience by saying “We always visit them on the holidays.” Yeah, that’s great and all, but what about the other 360 days of the year? If I sound bitter, I am. For years I have witnessed those I love decline in solitude despite my best efforts to visit them. While my visits were appreciated, they wanted their kids and their grandkids. They weren’t going to get them though.

Do you know what the worst part about all this is? A lot of them blame themselves. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to reassure older people that they didn’t do anything wrong. That they are good people but were left in solitude by a family who’s “too busy” to go see them. 

A LOT OF THEM BLAME THEMSELVES

This reflects the research. Loneliness is defined by the CDC as a lack of meaningful social connections and a lost sense of belonging. A meta-analysis from the Archives of Gerontology and Geriatrics found that in a global pool of older adults, the prevalence of loneliness was around 26%. In America, that number was a staggering 38%.  The World Health Organization reflects a similar number, stating that one in four older adults are experiencing social isolation. The somatic (bodily) and psychological effects of social isolation and loneliness are multifaceted. But we do know that social isolation leads to a 33% increased risk of all-cause mortality. The primary mechanisms of mortality (death) and comorbidities (two or more diseases experienced simultaneously) in isolated individuals are stress, loss of hope, and low self-esteem. Basically, they lose hope and decline. These factors lead to poor health habits and behaviors. The stress can also cause high blood pressure, inflammation, and can potentially accelerate cognitive aging.

By not visiting older family members who are alone and isolated, you are likely leaving them to die a slow and agonizing death. They may begin to question their self-worth and lose hope. Then it’s downhill from there. BUT, I have great news! This can all be prevented by something so simple, that it’s almost laughable. You can prevent many ailments, agony, and accelerated mortality by just doing this one simple thing: visiting them. Why not go and see Granny and Grampy a few times a week instead of leaving them to die? And you know what the best part of this deal is? I heard a lot of them like to bake, cook, and make coffee. I don’t think I’ve ever left an older person’s house without some form of pastry shoved in my mouth. They also tell great stories. They like to play cards, play games, bake, sew, hunt, and even watch movies. I don’t care what you do, just go and see them. You bring hope into their lives. Would you want to sit alone in a home with limited ways to form connections and question why no one comes to see you? No? Then why leave them to that fate? Together, we can create a brighter future for our older generations by being there for them. Call them or visit them today. I’m sure they will welcome you with open arms. 

Sources

Naito, R., McKee, M., Leong, D., Bangdiwala, S., Rangarajan, S., Islam, S., & Yusuf, S. (2023). Social Isolation as a Risk Factor for All-Cause Mortality: Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Cohort Studies. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0280308

Susanty, S., Nadirawati N., Setiawan, A., Haroen, H., Pebrianti, S., Harun, H., Azissah, D., Suyanto, J., Sarasmita, M.A., Chipojola, R., Khwepeya, M., & Banda, K. (2024). Overview of the Prevalence of Loneliness and Associated Risk Factors Among Older Adults Across Six Continents: A Meta-Analysis. Archives of Gerontology and Geriatrics, 128, 105627–105627. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.archger.2024.105627

‌World Health Organization. (2021). Social Isolation and Loneliness. World Health Organization. https://www.who.int/teams/social-determinants-of-health/demographic-change-and-healthy-ageing/social-isolation-and-loneliness

‌Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024, March 26). Health Effects of Social Isolation and Loneliness. Social Connection; CDC. https://www.cdc.gov/social-connectedness/risk-factors/index.html

‌Guarnera, J., Yuen, E., & Macpherson, H. (2023). The Impact of Loneliness and Social Isolation on Cognitive Aging: a Narrative Review. Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease Reports. https://doi.org/10.3233/ADR-230011

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